Stuff that people don't tell you...

That was probably the only thing that didn't go my way for the day... :D :D

Wish me luck for the new beginning... :)

Of Career Changes and Brazilian Waxes!

Few days back started off like any other day, except for one crazy idea suggested by a equally crazy girl friend - to try Brazilian Waxing! This post should possibly end here with a big full stop, but me being me, have decided to tell the tale and warn my fellow wax crazy gals on the very visible cons of waxing especially ermmm it's down there!

Woke up, had some breakfast, and spoke to this said friend then called my club to schedule an appointment for Brazilian wax with my usual girl A. And the filipina receptionist was chirpy with her self answered with “Actually mam, A no longer works with us. She decided to have a change of career recently. I'd be happy to book you up with another girly who taking's over most of A's clients”

Okay, ermmmmmmm? What career path can she really be pursuing? What’s the natural step of progression after waxing down under's? Sorry to sound all "stuck up bitch" types but really... how does one change career after becoming a specialist waxer?! That's gotten me really curious off late... No answers so far from girly gossips at the club.

So anyway, this new chick, I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me and yet I’m not more than two steps in the door and she’s all over me - calling me “sweetheart" "honey ” and “love” and telling me she’s will take good care of me. Which makes me question whether this Brazilian wax will come with a happy ending. I mean, I totally get the use of generic pet names. I do it, I call everyone “dude or dudett,” but I figure it’s acceptable because when I say it, I’m not TWO INCHES AWAY FROM THEIR YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!

So she starts in on the waxing, which starts off alright, no more or less painful than usual. Until suddenly, it’s got a LOT more painful than normal, she’s breathing openly while making concerned clicking noises with her tongue, and I look down and see that there’s an enormous patch of wax stuck to my skin. Just… stuck there, and she’s trying frantically to remove it, but.. no go. Pulling off wax with HAIR adamantly stuck to you skin can be included in Garuda Puranam as a effective means of torture!!!! Quote me on that!

Time went by, lots and lots of minutes in hot pain, and the wax wasn’t going anywhere. Whatever she was doing is certainly painful, but also ineffective. The wax is stuck, my skin is bloody red and swelling to turn purple, and her apology included something about it being a brand new kind of wax, which is a horseshit excuse because if that’s the case lady, maybe you should have tried it on your own goddamn vagina first. MY 'PUTTY TAT' IS NOT YOUR GUINEA PIG.

After that, she spent the rest of the appointment hunched over, trying to remove the seemingly permanent wax while muttering about how “this has never ever happened in her 15 years of waxing career.” Which comforted me about as much as someone saying, “well, we’ve killed your dog and stolen all your money, but here’s a grape flavored lollipop.”

Luckily, after the better part of my life had passed me by on that damn table, she was able to get the wax off, but by that point my skin was having such a bad reaction to it that we couldn’t continue. So I was forced to leave with HALF WAXED DOWN UNDER???!!!. It was not too bad other than the fact that my OCD was irritated by a half done job down there... It's surely no fun fretting over sights half finished jobs in the mirror!!!!

Oh, and to answer the inevitable questions: no, I certainly didn’t pay for this and yes, I’ve since had it redone and all's well again! :D